Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Emotional breakdown at mile 4....

It has taken me a few days to write this post because I was not ready to tell the world about my experience during Saturday's run at Cowtown. However, I started this blog and promised to always be upfront and honest so I could see my growth over time and just maybe help someone who faced my same fears.  So here goes...

Saturday's 10K was hard on me emotionally. The day started out with our hotel not really knowing how and when they were suppose to get us to the run even though the night before we were told they would take us in the hotel van at 6:30. The run started at 7:00 so this was pushing it anyway. Their sense of urgency at 6:30am did not match my sense of urgency. I finally lost my cool right in the hotel lobby. Needless to say, we made it to the start line with plenty of time to spare.

The crowd was huge. It took 4 minutes for us to get to the start line once the run started. It was cold and I was tired. I did okay through the first 4 or so miles, but then I began to lose momentum. I could no longer feel my legs and they refused to move.

I made it to the finish line, but I was already a basket case. I saw the clock and lost it. I decided I would never, ever run again. I could have walked faster. I called my husband and told him I was quitting. He told me there was no way I was going to quit after a bad day. Long story short, after I got some food in my body and become more rational, I realized the clock time was not the same as my chip time (I had not taken the 4 minutes it took to get to the start line into account). I looked up my time online and felt better. I am still very slow, but at least it was faster than my average run.

This is why I call this blog Confessions of a Crazy Mom. I get upset. I want to quit. I tell myself that I am too fat, too old, too busy, too slow and I am just not cut out to be a runner. I see all of these ladies that just run with ease and it comes naturally.  I am not one of those ladies.

My motto for the day is "Dig Deeper". So if you are out there and have ever thought of giving up, but did not, I want to hear your story. What got you past the mental block and made you move forward?

On a lighter note, my blog hit 2,000 views over the weekend (thanks, Mom!).

Me in one of the 2,000 outfits I tired on and did not wear...


  1. Ok, you have NO idea how badly I needed to see this today. I suffered right with you this weekend. My first half marathon, I'm INCREDIBLY slow, a bit overweight and 40. It took me almost FOUR HOURS to complete that race.

    At mile 4 I hit a wall. I think it was a fueling issue, but I wanted to walk the entire way. When people older than you are walking and are faster than your "run", it really wears you down.

    I really questioned whether I'm meant to be a runner, I'm not like everybody else that runs with ease, I am going to do my best to lose some weight (as I think that will help me be faster) and stick with my goal of running another half in December. If that race is awful, I will give it up then. So we can't throw in the towel yet! We have to hang in there and strap up the laces soon!

  2. I am so glad you commented. This was probably the hardest post I have ever written. I am glad I am not the only one to have these feelings. I am also trying to lose weight and hope it helps my running. I am lacing back up and very happy to hear you are, too! I hope you run like the wind in December. Keep me posted.

    1. I thought it was an excellent post. Although other runner posts are inspirational, it is refreshing to see somebody who has to work twice as hard to run and train because we are "slow", have kids, just started running. We should be happy we finished, but it's disappointing when you have trained for so long. But, I figure, I can't do any worse than the race this past weekend!

  3. Hi!

    I have a quick question about your blog, could you email me please? Thanks!!